简短回答
Tears at daycare drop-off are a normal sign of healthy attachment, not a sign you are doing something wrong. What helps most is a short, warm, predictable goodbye routine done with confidence: a consistent ritual, a genuine (not sneaked) goodbye, and trust that your child can be comforted by their caregiver.
通用指导，最后审阅于 2026年7月3日——非医疗建议。
要点速览
- Separation anxiety at drop-off is normal and healthy: the American Academy of Pediatrics calls it an entirely normal behaviour and a sign of a meaningful attachment, common from around 15 to 18 months.
- A short, warm, predictable goodbye ritual done with confidence helps most — Markham notes children read a parent's anxiety, so staying calm matters.
- Lansbury's RIE approach advises a genuine goodbye rather than sneaking out, which tends to increase anxiety next time. Most children settle within minutes once the parent leaves.
Separation anxiety is normal and healthy
The American Academy of Pediatrics describes separation anxiety as an entirely normal behaviour and a sign of a meaningful attachment. It is common in the toddler years — many children start showing it around 15 to 18 months — and it eases with time, rarely persisting daily past the preschool years. Distress at goodbye is not evidence of a problem with the child or the daycare.
What helps at drop-off
Markham suggests a warm, consistent goodbye ritual and staying calm and confident, because children read a parent's anxiety. A predictable sequence — a hug, a phrase you always say, and a clear goodbye — helps a child know what to expect.
Lansbury's RIE approach adds honesty: say a real goodbye rather than slipping out, which can leave a child more anxious the next time. Trust the caregiver to comfort your child after you go; most settle within minutes.
When to check in
If distress is severe, lasts for a long time after you leave, persists for many weeks without easing, or seems out of proportion, talk with the daycare and your provider. They can look at what your child specifically needs.
家长还会问
Should I sneak out to avoid the tears?
The frameworks here advise against it. A genuine, brief goodbye builds trust; disappearing can make a child more anxious and clingy at the next drop-off.
How long until it gets easier?
Many children settle within minutes of a parent leaving and grow out of the sharpest separation anxiety over time. If it stays severe for weeks, check in with the daycare and your provider.
来源
本页的每一条说法都归因于 Hale 所依据的育儿健康框架之一。点开某个来源可以前往其出版方；书籍只列出名称，不作链接。
- American Academy of Pediatrics — HealthyChildren.org
American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org — "How to Ease Your Child's Separation Anxiety" (healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/Soothing-Your-Childs-Separation-Anxiety.aspx)
总的来说： Although it is an entirely normal behavior and a beautiful sign of a meaningful attachment, separation anxiety can be unsettling for us all.
- Laura Markham — Aha! Parenting
Laura Markham, Aha! Parenting — goodbye rituals and staying calm (ahaparenting.com)
总的来说： A warm, consistent goodbye ritual, delivered with confidence, eases drop-off.
- Janet Lansbury — Elevating Child Care (RIE)
Janet Lansbury, RIE — say a genuine goodbye, do not sneak out (janetlansbury.com)
总的来说： Honest goodbyes build trust; sneaking away tends to increase anxiety.
